Self-identity + will = expression of self-identity   (2015)


Expression of self-identity is a definition of existence. Neglecting self-identity is neglecting self-existence. Existence precedes self-identity. Existence is present, desired or not.  An independent being cannot allow existence to be other-defined, it must be self-defined. Expression of self-identity is dependent upon its self-definition and will.

Existence, awareness, self-identity, expression of self-identity. The target of self-identity is the expression of it. Expression of self-identity means the service of self-identity. Non-service of self-identity leads to despair. Undesired service punishes the self and others. Failing expression of self-identity promotes influence of the crowd. To the observer, self-identity is not important. Service is necessary, whether the bearer attaches it to self-identity or not.

The bearer has full responsibility over self-identity. It is a burden as much as a liberator. The lock is simultaneously the key. The fear-stricken remain chained by conformity. The frightened follow others whispering their disgust. The meek wager their existence on a lucky jackpot. Safety of other-identity removes the vulnerability of self-identity. This burden meanders in and out of consciousness until the keys are tossed or the lock is unlocked.

Expression of self-identity is the liberator of an undefined or other-defined existence. Despair awaits the unwilled self-identity. Despair awaits the non-service of self-identity. Self-identity is self-defined. Expression is the service of a self-defined identity.

Awareness of being cannot be unattached from consciousness. Consciousness causes awareness. Awareness causes formation of self-identity. Formation of self-identity is not correlated with time. Formed self-identity through awareness is the precursor to expression of self-identity. Formed self-identity through awareness causes despair if will is not present. Awareness without a formed self-identity does not cause despair. Despair is caused by the self-defined, but unwilled self-identity. Awareness of identities without self-identity does not cause despair. Other reasons related to existence may cause despair, this is explored in the examples following shortly.

A self-defined self-identity without will causes despair. Lack of will is self-inflicted, yet oft blamed by the exterior world. A formed self-identity does not cause the will to express it. Self-identity and will are separate. Will requires an abundance of mental skill. Will requires an implementation. Self-identity requires awareness through consciousness. Self-identity and will creates expression of self-identity.

The problem of will is that it is not taught. Will is mistaken by an assumption. If the bearer acquires self-identity, the bearer naturally implements it through will. This is incorrect. A bearer of self-identity is not given, but is responsible for will.

Consistent lack of will brings into question the bearers chosen self-identity. Self-doubt on self-identity assessed by will is debilitating. Will cannot be encapsulated in a bottle. An observer cannot measure the bearers will. Will can be approximated by the bearer, but will is not a fixed measurement. It will rise and fall. A bearer must encourage will based on self-identity for the expression of self-identity. Lack of will encourages self-doubt on self-identity. Will can be massacred by self-doubt. The bearer of will massacred by self-doubt flees and arrives into the realm of despair.

Start of example:

1/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer. Adam started writing. Adam serves others through his writing.

This is awareness, self-identity, will and expression of self-identity.

2/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer. Adam did not have the will to write. He does not serve others through his writing.

This is awareness, self-identity, no will and no expression of self-identity. This is despair.

3/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam does not have a self-identity. He is unwilling to do anything/he is willing to do anything. He does not serve others through his writing.

This is awareness, no self-identity, irrelevance of will, no expression of self-identity. No presence of self-identity causes irrelevance of will. This means no despair. Despair may appear, but derived from other factors (time/other-defined existence/self-inflicted anxiety of having to self-define) rather than because of a lack of self-identity.

4/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam does not have a self-identity. He is unwilling to do anything/he is willing to do anything. He serves others through an other-defined existence that causes despair.

This is awareness, no self-identity, irrelevance of will, no expression of self-identity. No presence of self-identity causes irrelevance of will. An other-defined existence causes despair. This means the other-defined existence causes despair. Not having a self-identity does not cause despair, it is the other-defined existence that causes despair. This despair can be solved by doing another other-defined identity. Not having a self-identity does not cause despair. An unwilled self-identity causes despair.

5/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer. Adam did have the will to write, but was overwhelmed by self-doubt. Self-doubt poisoned his will. Left paralyzed by self-doubt, will decayed. It became inconsistent and faded. He does not serve others through his writing.

Awareness, self-identity, self-doubt massacres will, no expression of self-identity. This is despair.

6/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer but self-doubted this decision. Adam did not have the will to write. He does not serve others through his writing.

Awareness, doubt of self-identity, no will, no expression of self-identity. This is not plausible. If a self-identity is doubted then it wouldn’t be a self-identity. Self-doubt of self-identity is caused by and monitored by a lack of will, rather than a lack of self-identity.  Self-doubt causes the lack of will to write. For self-doubt to exist, it must be chosen (as a self-identity) to doubt it. You would not have self-doubt about being a dancer if you did not first self-identify with being a dancer. Identities are filtered through awareness before a self-identity is born.

7/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer. Adam did not have the will to write. He serves others through his writing.

Awareness, self-identity, no will, expression of self-identity. This is not possible as no will present means no writing is done. It is incomprehensible to think a self-identity is defined, unwilled, yet still expressed. One could argue that Adam uses a third party to achieve expression of self-identity even though he is unwilling to write. This is invalid, as having will transcends the act of writing. Seeking the services of a third party is still an act of will.

Irrespective on the explanation above, it is nonsensical how a bearer would form a self-identity, not will it and still express it.

 8/ Adam is aware of writing. Adam chose to be a writer. Adam started writing. He does not serve others through his writing.

Awareness, self-identity, will, no expression of self-identity. Either writing is not his self-identity, but rather a hobby, or will is ongoing and not yet complete.

End of example.

A statement can raise questions as much as it defines. These are therefore the questions that may be raised with their respective answers. 

“Will can be massacred by self-doubt. The bearer of will massacred by self-doubt flees and arrives into the realm of despair.”

Q: Can an existence on autopilot be reset? Can a self-identity be resurrected from despair?

A: Yes it can. Self-identity may be buried, but it can be dug up. Resurrecting self-identity depends on will.

“An independent being cannot allow existence to be other-defined, it must be self-defined.”

Q: What if I do not know my self-identity? I don’t know or can’t define my self-identity.

A: Continue consciousness with an undefined self-identity. With consciousness, awareness of identities appears, leading to self-identity.

“If a self-identity is doubted then it wouldn’t be a self-identity.”

Q: Is there such an instance as a changed self-identity?

A: No. There can be illusory or mistaken self-identities. Self-identity is not a fleeting passion or hedonistic pursuit. A self-identity, despite a driven will, is not a linear path to expression of self-identity. Expression of self-identity goes beyond pain, pleasure and monetary gain. Expression of self-identity is the self-defined service of a human being.

“A self-defined self-identity without will causes despair. Lack of will is self-inflicted, yet oft blamed by the exterior world.”

Q: Are you sure it is the lack of will that prevents my self-identity and not something else? Am I to blame for my inability to express my self-identity?

A: Yes I am sure. Yes you are to blame. As stated, self-identity with lack of will leads to despair. Despair can paradoxically revitalise the will. Will should be tenacious and resilient. It is not happenstance in the world that is the limitation. Will can overcome limitation*. It is your responsibility to express your self-identity, and you are to blame if you fail.

*Limitation is a generic word. You cannot will all the clouds in the world to change colour. You cannot will to live eternally. Will overcoming limitation is of reference to self-identity, rather than conquering natural law.

Q: What are the consequences of expression of self-identity for you and others?

A: Expression of self-identity is a definition of existence. It is not up to others to define self-identity. Not self-defining, and more importantly not expressing self-identity, leads to existing an other-identity. Existing an other-identity is existing for the sake of existing. The consolation in this existence is the pleasure the exterior world has to offer. The value of existing in an other-identity is the chance of finding self-identity through awareness.

Q: Jeff had a choice of entering door A, door B or door C. He chose to enter door A. It was the wrong door, which led him to his death. Who says it was wrong? Is it wrong because he died?

A: Jeff made a decision. This statement does not mention if Jeff knew what was behind the doors. Unless Jeff intentionally wanted to commit suicide, he did not know the consequence of his action. Choosing a door is irrelevant to self-defining an existence, as in this case it is all the same object. It is the same as saying “Do you prefer to be guitarist A, guitarist B or guitarist C?” As all the objects are the same, there are only actually two choices: to choose a door or to not choose a door.

Does the fact that there is a letter after “door” make it a more personal choice? Do some naturally prefer B to A, or A to C? The statement does not mention if the letters A, B or C were actually written anywhere on the door. Does the decision of choosing change if the doors were identical or not? The more differences added, the more of a choice there is. If there were no letters, and rather Jeff had a choice of entering “door, door or door” it is only a choice of choosing or not choosing.

The question assumes death is wrong, or it assumes it was wrong because it led him to his death. There is one valuable meaning we can take away from this question, which is the ethical evaluation of a self-identity. As an individual can only self-define, the individual has that responsibility.

“Self-identity and will are separate. Will requires an abundance of mental skill. Will requires an implementation.”

Q: How do I train/improve my will?

A: I have already explained that self-doubt massacres will. The enemy of will is fear and distraction. The friends of will are an understanding of natural law, action and consequence, habits, momentum, obstacle overcoming, paradigm shifts, belief systems, decision making, leverage, knowledge, congruency, positive thinking, faith, questions, tenacity and resilience, hunger, guarding the mind from distraction, anticipation, consistency and effort.

Q: My self-identity is a writer. Both of my arms are decapitated so I cannot write, do I lose my self-identity?

A: Self-identity does not change. If both arms are severed that does not change your self-identity. Will continues, adapting with circumstance. Someone can write for you and you can learn to write with your legs.

Q: But what about a self-identified tennis player whom both arms are severed?

A: Self-identity does not change, the bearer can have prosthetic arms to play. Expression of self-identity means the service of it. Serving as a tennis player does not necessarily mean participating in competitions, it could include coaching of tennis, reporting of tennis or being part of the tennis community.